/ motherhood, thoughts
Thoughts on Motherhood: Learning About Sacrifice
At Bethesda House a couple of months ago we celebrated all the things God had done so far in the year for and through our ministry and had a big feast and worship time. We try to model it a little after the feasts held in the Old Testament to remember and celebrate God. This particular one was our Feast of First Fruits and and we all had to come prepared to give a sacrifice (no we didn't kill any sheep ;) it was a sacrifice to be given from the heart to symbolize something of the year so far) and it was a beautiful time.
As I prepared I really didn't know what God wanted me to bring before Him. What was I to lay down? To be honest, besides myself, I did't feel like I had much left to lay down. I mean there are always things but with this year being one of stepping fully into motherhood I had already laid down so much of myself and my life I felt a bit bare and empty handed.
I decided to go with the theme thus far of the year and again sacrifice myself, my heart, time, desires etc. but as I prepared God asked me "why?" Why do you sacrifice yourself? I could say I do it for Ira, for Jason, our family, because I have to, etc. I can think of multiple reasons that are true but ultimately the laying down of self day after day and night after night isn't for any of those things.
It's for Him. It's for the glory of God.
So my sacrifice turned from one of offering myself to one of the acknowledgement of why I offer myself. I don't know if that makes sense but for me it shifted something and settled head knowledge into deep heart realization of what drives me. I love Ira. More than my own life. He himself is worth it but even more so is Jesus. Its a perspective I knew in my head and with my words but didn't wear the lens of it over this aspect of my life.
Whats your perspective? Let Him shift your gaze and move your heart into the place of acknowledging that ultimately the daily laying down of yourself is for the One who laid down Himself for you. It helps and He helps and in the laying down you gain life and are sustained by Strength much better than your own and are filled with Love immeasurable.
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