October 30th / 40 weeks & 1 day of Ira Gray

I am a few weeks late in sharing this but it was such a sweet day for me as a mother that I thought I would share it still. (pretend with me I am posting this at the right time) I am sure for many people it isn't a big deal but I marked this special day on my calendar a long time ago. Sunday, October 30th, the day Ira would be 40 weeks and one day old. He was in my belly for 40 weeks and one day and now has been in my arms for the same. I can't express it with words but it makes my heart feel so many emotions. I never knew the love you could have for a single person could cause your heart to feel so much pain. It hurts to love so hard yet to even imagine life without that pain is far worse than the pain itself. It's like a constant ache but sharper and grows slowly stronger with every beat. Sometimes it feels as if your heart will come right out of your chest but then, really, it already has in the form of a 21lb joyful crawling little munchkin. Other times it feels like it can't get any bigger or hold any more love and then you blink and your boy is bigger and your heart keeps stretching still to fit him all in. 

And she loved a little boy, very very much - even more than she loved herself. -Shel Silverstein

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